The way in life, death, and beyond—realization of limitlessness—dimensions: psyche, nature-culture-society, the universal

Mindfulness—attitude-action—meditative-active being in the experiential-pragmatic and limitless world

Nature, culture, and society—the world as found and made—immersion in nature and culture—living and travel

Reflection, sharing, writing, and publishing

The universal—the limitless world as we are and become it

Projects for the way (develop-write, immersion-travel, publish-share)

Developing the way—intrinsically-instrumentally and attitudinally-actively, in all pure and pragmatic dimensions of being

Travel (cur trips-hike list-prep-bus: humb-trin-gdocs)—Jan 1, 2022 (review) (i) one year isolation (ii) nature-culture journeys

A year’s isolation _______________________________________________________________________________________

Nature, culture journeys _________________________________________________________________________________

Publish—study-reflect-write: bare content > essay, minimal site > write-in-the-world > access, site, advertise-publicize-talks

The narrative

the way of being – contents

into the way

the world

the way

into the world

the way of being – narrative

this workspace is currently minimal

into the way

the world

the way

into the world

Reading list—logic, free will, add __________________________________________________________________________

Regular activities for the way (mainly experiential and spiritual) and supporting activities (mainly material)

Spiritual, inner, timeless

Meditation – Shamatha—emptying, calming; Vipasana—reflecting, redirecting

Attitude (also see ‘Today’)

Meditative presence—aware, relaxed, reflective, and no mind

Music

Hiking and serious exercise

Sleep deprivation and pattern alteration

No drinking

Neutral engagement (background)—disengage, have – request listening – assert and request boundaries, limits

Proper or appropriate engagement—when engagement is full and trans-ego

Awareness of state neutral vs judgmental state > affirm positive, redirect negative

Hold without judging, breath, relax muscles, tolerate, examine – it’s me, not others > (re)direct, two-minute meditation-stretch > kindness to, do not avoid self or other – we’re all trying > dedicate to the ultimate > move on

Patience > Integrity of identity

Work on integrity; patience with pain; healthy behavior; work on independence from affirmation by others

Material, outer, temporal (also see projects…, below). Events

Life _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Annual—tax, Christmas, Robin 2/7, Veda Elise 8/1, Carissa 8/10, Beverly 8/15, Kathleen 11/8, Wendy 11/21 ______________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Month, bi-week, week __________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday—relax _________________________________________________________________________________________

Thu or Sat—Chores. Sunday—relax. See today. _______________________________________________________________

Now—(current essentials, travel prep, health, people)

Essential—step back-review trip |know-dedicate-direct pain |work-$30K-counsel |place travel base hum trin us mex WRLD |18ΦCA

Calendar—year – taxes, birthdays, Christmas; 2022—year’s isolation, nature-culture journeys | develop below

Develop and place calendar here

Travel, immersion, plan & prep next > do it now > Hike daily > USFS > pack > cash, laundry, bank > pack, min > fresh veg

Planning (when, where, future trips)

When… criteria: weather…

Where… research… RNP, W Ck, Six Rivers, Trinity – Junction City campground (call JC Store) – ride to trail heads (night at or hear trail head), HWY 3…

Future trips—backpacking and biking

Preparation—when written, put essentials into main heading ‘Next trip’, above

Minimizing gear means saving time

Misc—dye; umbrella / hat; organize and minimize stuff sacks and plastic bags; shaver (new, try out)

Efficiency and weight—fasten side pocket; loose pants; wind vs reg pants; no rain pants; less food, fuel; sneakers vs sandals; bivvy—clothes peg, stakes, guy line, what are the attachments for; med sack; water sack? papers; cook kit; just one toothpaste

Priorities (from the previous trip > modify for next trip)

General—How, what to realize, reflect

The way, share, publish

Dedication

Life problems (sibling)

My life

The way, above

$ Work, other

Place, general

Eureka, Arcata Humboldt Del Norte, Trinity CA, US Mexico, World Isolation, 6 months, 1 year+

Intrinsic

Meditate, nature watch

Hike

Extrinsic

X, stretch

Hike

Weaverville

Realtors

Internet

Word of mouth

Apartments

Health—posture, exercise > water, one meal a day (diet research: home and packing) > meds (0.5 tab), sugar, mole, no beer

People—R > 0.5 h prep, 1 day / month, no deferment; boundaries | G > neutrally | S > deal, dismiss | C > her initiative

Robin—next conversation—most important—writing, becoming, immersion – nature and culture

Robin—the current issue of advice etc and its impact on me, a simple account.

Color code—what I must, will, may, or must not or perhaps should not say

At outset—I love you; the aim of this is to solve ‘my problem’… to make my life the best possible without sacrificing my relationship with you

I am not criticizing or blaming anyone, I do not want to make anyone angry or hurt

Blaming, name calling (there are two sides), would muddle the issue I address

It is not about intention

I neither affirm nor deny a right to say what you want, even after I have asked you to stop—concerning, only my life

Although the issue has come up in the past, I have been sufficiently clear or firm in my response (perhaps because I did not adequately think it through)

While I do not want to get into explanation, for it is diverting I may say this—

Yes, there is some sense in which you have the right to say what you want. But that does not make it right. And, there is no sense of right in which it obliges me to listen or be exposed to it

There are things you have said that you do not want to talk about. I have avoided them (assiduously). This is not an argument that you are wrong. But it shows you what my attitude is. In avoiding what you do not like to talk about, I am respecting you. I find it strange that you should not hesitate to give advice and to be judgmental. In any case, you should know that some ‘experts’ on relationships (work and family) hold that advice giving can be counter to good communication and to problem solving.

I find your tendency to want to give advice (yes, I know you care, and wanting to help is a motive—but affirmation of your ego and world view seems to be another one) to be, at best, very odd. But to insist on it when I have said I do not want it—that I find absurd in the extreme.

There is a severe negative impact on me

It is on my mood, life, and health (blood pressure)	(B)

Attempts at negative resolution have not worked so far

The specific identified sources of negative impact

Judgmental probing, sharing negative judgments about my life and choices, advice	(A)

It has continued for many years, and is not a matter of a few recent calls

It has gotten more severe recently

Your tendency to sheer contrariness and ad hoc argument

What I will do

Because of the negative, if the external source continues, I will (have to) reduce or eliminate exposure to it

I will not experience it for the remaining 15 – 30 years I have left

Costs and benefits. Costs, above, are enormous. Benefit is zero to negative—your advice on important matters is either trivially obvious (and disrespectful to me and my intelligence and, note that the issue of respect is that of ‘person’ and has nothing to do with age or being older) and repeated or absurd.

Details—what I will request; what I will or may do

Contact—I would like once a month calls

With exceptions for special situations

I will not call leading up to, around, or during trips

This is also important to what is most important in my life—writing, realization of the ultimate

I want reassurance that the behaviors (A) will not recur and actual avoidance of the behaviors

Consequences—without reassurance or if the behaviors continue, I will not talk to you until I do get reassurance and, then, find that the behaviors do not continue

You can always email or leave a phone message

Visiting America—if and when you visit and spend time with me, I want you to talk to me before setting dates

I understand and am willing to accept consequences—even if it means end of the relationship, temporary or permanent; it also occurs to me that I ought not to accept your money for a place—it was a really nice offer and I felt a glow when you made it—but, if I can’t afford a place on my own resources, then to accept your help would be to depend on something I can’t depend on (I don’t know what your situation will be five years from now…)

It is interesting that when I thought it might end, I felt relief

Comments

It is especially important to keep this in mind because I find you really judgmental and unable to not blurt out what you feel

‘Judgmental’ does not mean judging. It means some combination of (i) judging prematurely and without adequate information is available (ii) judging from a perspective inadequate to what is being judged

Internal resolution

Make a list of my fears

Meditate upon, be at ease with, understand, and perhaps minimize them

Counter the negative, whatever the source with positive messages

Psychology—minimize the ‘other as object’… look at other aspects…

Disclosure—disclose less, be discrete

‘Isolation’ for nature, culture immersion

Structural and external

The retreat (up to a year and more) I would take is not from Robin, but from the constraints on my mind that result from social interaction and fear—especially fear of judgment

I must work on overcoming, neutralizing this fear, not just in retreat but also internally

And maybe the external and internal will become linked

Focus—my life, the way of being (trips, travel, a year’s isolation… other aspects)

The most important activities and values for the remainder of my life (and I doubt I have the full 20 years or so)

My project on discovery and realization of being

Reflection, writing, publishing

Immersion in nature and cultures

Immersion in self—meditation

Live in a place and with people that facilitate the project

Travel

For enjoyment

As part of the project

Be happy

I am reasonably self-sufficient (people lie on a continuum)

Not be unhappy in my relationships (friends, brother, other)

Be useful

I think my project has the potential to be useful

Today

Wake Dedicate-affirm Rise. Water . Music . Review life, the way, the day . times-alarms ___

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Attitude Patience > identity integrity . Awareness > redirect . Meditative presence . Neutral engagement _ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Projects and activities, above, especially bare content __________hrs. ____________________________________

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Continue projects after _________ below _________________________________________________________

Walk . Stretch, weights, grip, knee bends . Meditate . Lunch _________________

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Chores for the day (Sun—relax, Tue—R) _________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ Thu / Sat—Chores

Thu / Sat—Chores > This > Hair, feet > Clean > Cash > Supplies – for cooking – what I have, pulses, grains, vegetables, nuts, tortillas, yogurt | cleaners – paper food-storage | meds, toilet| stamps, envelopes, cards | maintain clothes, gear, bike ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Exercise TTHSAT ____________ &OR Walk-bike with nature photography MWF _______________________

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PM PMX . Review this-print, rest-shr Realize projects . engage . meditate | φ beer-movie

prep for tomorrow __________________________________________________________________ Sleep _

Notes, detailed planning _____________________________________________________________________________________

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